Saturday, February 23, 2008

Miscellaneous thoughts

I'm always bummed when I realize I have to grow in some way.

I always get flashbacks from years back; I wish I could relieve certain moments.
I know I'll look back to this moment.

Youtube brings back a ton of memories. When it just started, C. linked me to a lot of things and eventually I found a ton of artists I like a lot even now. Despite how childish Morning Musume sound at times and how strange Gackt is, I love listening to them.

Music is a big part of my life, though I forget sometimes..

I hate thinking about the future. I hate people who've already chosen their path (only because I'm jealous). I'm neither rich, nor as hardworking as some people yet I'm spoiled.

In middle school, I often felt isolated.

I'm sick right now. First it was a fever, then it was a sore throat. Now my nose is running like crazy and I don't leave my room because there's no heat in every other room.

3 comments:

Joy said...

Oh no! During break too. Feel and get better. <3

Joy said...

Unfortunately, I know exactly what you mean. I suppose earlier, in February, I didn't really know how to respond to this other than to comment about about your sickness at the time. Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing the right thing and why I'm not happier. I tend not to go into these things with people at all, I guess a fear of social rejection because I'd be branded an "emo?" I know I'm "just" a child, but I want to know how to live my life. I want to know if studying really hard for things that I might not even want in the long run is going to be worth it. I think about my future and I hate it. I want it to go away sometimes and I don't know what to do. People say that being a doctor is best and it's really the only job that will lead to happiness. But is money key? I am pressured by the smart people in my mother's large family. I have maybe 14 cousins and half of them are older than me, the other half are maybe only seven years of age and below. The ones that are older all excel at what they do. They're smart and hardworking, whereas I lack the latter characteristic I suppose. It all comes around though to where I say to myself, is it worth it? I really am sorry I couldn't have been there for you in middle school, but I did admire you. I believed that you stood out from the rest and you weren't afraid to be what you wanted to be. I lacked that courage and still do even now. I do regret it and I wish I were a better person. Then again, what makes the perfect person?

There went my two cents for your penny for your thoughts. :)

☆Hachiko☆ said...

I tend not to go into these things with people at all, I guess a fear of social rejection because I'd be branded an "emo?"

Same. Really why do people have to go branding each other as emo? There are some who are fine with that and others who are sensitive about it. Sometimes it's just nicer not to be stuck into some stereotype or even some sort of group. I wish people would understand that.

I really am sorry I couldn't have been there for you in middle school, but I did admire you.

Haha really? I never thought of myself as a role model. I had always envied you for being able to hang with people and you were always so nice.


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